she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
