dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
