so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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