the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
