the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
