finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
