I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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