do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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