Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
