he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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