I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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