lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
