I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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