i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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