So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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