no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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