i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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