how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
