what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
