this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
