Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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