definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
