We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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