So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
