I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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