i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
