i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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