thus making me awesome and them whores
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
