why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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