I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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