she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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