why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
