Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We had to coat check the pizza.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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