Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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