It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
