Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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