i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
