dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
