I cockslap morals
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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