Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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