I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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