My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
