A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
