You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
