his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He did a backflip because drugs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
