she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
