my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
