My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
