why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
