In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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