This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
