Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
