i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
